When Sixteen Isn't Sweet!

I married late, had kids late, and I feel that I am getting a better picture of fathering a little late. I have been told so many times, "Time flies." Why didn't I hear that? I love this one, "They grow up so quickly." I remember in those early years with three little ones hoping they would. And they do! I just returned from a trip to the infamous Department of Motor Vehicles. It was time for Hailey to take her driving test and get her license. This day came too quick for this dad. I felt helpless as I watched them drive off. Did I want her to pass? Sure I did - maybe. Did I want her to fail? No! But it would be nice if she didn't have a license to go solo. (Solo is Greek for without me!)

Sixteen! Wow. That was the magical age we had set for our children to be more accountable. Stuff like - a job! This is that dreaded dating age. And of course this is the time for getting your driver's license. I honestly did not realize that sixteen would get here so quickly. Who makes these laws anyway? I think I was older when I was sixteen.

After the driving test Hailey sat down by me while the instructor added up her score. I think she intentionally took her time. I don't know if this event is a rite of passage, but somehow things seemed a little different. Hailey is getting older and I am just getting old. Suddenly my pity party was interrupted when they called Hailey's name. Why didn't they call my name? Am I supposed to go up too? Why are we here?

I could read the instructor's lips, "You passed!" Small tears of joy slowly ran down Hailey's face. Giant knots of ambivalence ran through my stomach. Then she called for me. I knew it. My baby still needed her daddy. "What do you need sweetie?" My grown up independent solo driver said, "They need $13.00."

January 14, 2009